I forced myself to get up, I need clean the house and work in a design. I want cook the lunch for tomorrow, get a good shower, and put my brain to work more and more. I will try to not drink 5 cup of coffee today to can sleep earlier and tomorrow don't be a zombie during the day.
I didn't feel hungry this weekend, I had just 1 meal per day. Not sure if I lose more weight but my belly is very very flat Anyway I'll start to eat more fruits and vegetals because I want to start my workout again. The problem is I don't know what to do about the pills. I really don't let my mind relax, I overcharge my mind with a lot of task and I don't want to stop it. Is like a drug to see all that my mind can do, can fix, can learn that I wish we don't need to sleep to can stay all day long pushing my mind beyond its limits. The problem is that my body, that stupid container wich we have to carry, get tired... and when my body is tired it fuck my mind. I got depressed then my mind enters in a negative state. Pills help to avoid that negative state but some pills makes my brain stupid, indifferent to everything, and that's not good at all. Other pills make my body tired, then I couldn't do my workout. I really don't like using pills and that's why I just take it when the negative state is ver important.
I won't test with ilegal drugs, no way. 2 years ago I changed some negative communication that I had with my mind using basic Neuro-linguistic programming. Maybe if I learn more about this I could eradicate any negative thought for ever.