_Nat (nattalie_m) wrote,

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To be or not to be

 Guess who is being a lazy ass today??? yes!! this is me! 
Last night I played Magic cards until 4 am so obviously today I woke up very late... in fact I couldn't leave the bed until 3pm. I took a coffee then I lie down again while chatting with a friend who I'm trying to help to fix himself. I feel a little frustrated because I don't know what else try to help him, and because I know that if he doesn't help himself nobody else will do.
I won't talk about his issues here because even when he doesn't read my journal I think this is disrespectful if I talk to other people about his feelings. Since we speak different language it's very hard for me to explain how I work to fix myself.
To can fix myself I need first learn about myself (It sounds obvious). How my brain works. What are my feelings and thoughts, why I have these feelings, what situations make me feel like that. Sometimes our brain get the wrong info and we make it our reality. If we learn to detect it we can rewrite the info in our brain.
We need to forgive our mistakes, learn about them to avoid to do it again and work to be better person. And get the motivation to do it isn't easy. Don't wait until feel you motivated enough, force urself if this is necessary. Repeat to urself over and over "I'm good enough, I can do it, I deserve the best" even if you don't believe ur words right now. And of course, give urself the right to feel down sometimes, to feel weak, to take a break. 
Denying your reality will not change it. Don't get stucked in your life, don't be afraid to change, don't be afraid to fail, is a way to learn to be better. Ok I will stop here because I start to sound like a therapist lol

Sooooo, after chatting with my friend I lied in the bath, then I lied again in the bed 
I forced myself to leave the bed and I drank another coffee, but it's late to clean the house. I can't decide what I want to do... why I'm so undecided for simple life things???? why??????? 
Tags: thoughts
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