June 19th, 2017

Nat 1 - Anxiety 0

 Today is my 4th day without feel anxiety and without taking pills! 
Face muscles are more relaxed and I feel OK. I had good time this weekend altought I didn't leave home. On Saturday Mike woke me up 10AM. He studied Spanish with Duolingo for more than 3 hours .
I did my hair, I'm satisfied with my job and I also study English :D

Mike and I tried to play magic cards by videocall. It's uncomfortable and the image isnt good. Anyways it was good to try. After that we talk by phone for a long time, I really enjoyed it. 
Mike showed me some draws he did when he was a kid, he was ashame because the draws weren't good but I'm happy he shared it with me. I encouraged him to start drawing again and he will do!!!! He also wanna help me with my website project and we are agree that for the next vacation we will do more things that he would like doing, like going to amusement parks.
He wants shop shoes, some shoes which are expensive but it doesn't matter because he never get something for him. He wants buy shoes for me also but I'm not sure about it, because he likes some shoes which cost $280 and I feel guilty if he spend so much money on me 
They are the shoes, really lovely

We talk all day long until 3AM. It was a great day sharing things with him 

Soul age

 Michael watched a documentary about age souls. I've never thought if we have or not souls, I think we have smt, doesnt matter how it is called. I dont need get names for this. He asked me what age my soul is then I researched about that to see if this sound reasonable or not.
So if those things about the soul is true, I feel I'm between stage 4 and 5 which means... what is mean? I don't know :)
It says I'm looking for a person to share the rest of my life with. I'm looking for the truth, I'm looking for someone to teach what I know before leave this stage. I'm in the spiritual stage. Maybe I'm about to leave stage 4 to enter completely to stage 5 because this about spiritual needs is a little new for me. It started 6 years ago when I got 33 years old. I've tried to find this in the church and I also was baptized... yes, at the age of 33, but I didn't find the answers I was looking for. 

I got a little depressed with all those things about souls because old souls are solitaries but if I think about that, it doesnt means that they are single. I wonder... if I'm an old soul why I end involved with people who seems have younger soul than me? Why I dont look for another old soul who will understand me 100%? is this because I need to find someone to teach what I know? Do I know some truth that other people still don't know? I don't feel that, I'm not "superior"... just different, so I'm not sure about all those soul things.
I won't get stressed for this and I don't want that a text define what I am. I set my own limits and I believe there is not limits for me if I really want to get something, even a soulmate. 

I have read a detailed document on Spanish but If you want to read a summary on English about soul age you can read www.michaelteachings.com/soul_age_index.html

(no subject)

It's so cold today! 5ºC (40F). Work today was pretty quiet. My coworker came back from his vacation and obviously he started to complain about everything. I just ignored him. Tomorrow we have day off   

I got home and I did some exercises for my legs, butt and abs. I did stretching also. It feels good after 2 weeks being lazy. I took a shower then I had dinner. Now I'm going to bed to do my English lessons and read a little before sleep.