September 8th, 2017

(no subject)

 Anxiety is back in my life so I'll write to see if this helps. This means that maybe I'll spam my journal and also that my English will be worse. Sorry for that.

This is a hard week, shitty week, and I'm pissed as hell with myself because I still love that mother fucker and because I'm tired of unfair situations.
And this week, when I have broken up with Michael, when my PMS makes me more stressed, when I feel I want to kill someone, the new sales manager came to our offices.
I was the first person he wanted to meet but he had to wait, I was busy... busy as fuck because I'm doing all the work from sales department alone, without any help while everybody around were asking me for help or giving me more tasks. 

We had our meeting yesterday and today. And I started the meeting asking to him how they will organize my department. He told me I'll be alone for some weeks until they hire new sellers, and he told me he won't help me with any task for now. Oh! thank you so much son of bitch! 
After they hire sellers they will hire someone to work with me doing the quotes then I can take care of other things that I know better than anyone at work. He said it will takes 1 month... I am not so optimist so I am giving them until the end of the year to fix this situation. 

And after this I told him "I have a very critical point of view and I will be honest with you about how I see this company right now"
I felt the needs to do a little of justice in this unfair world, and talked to him about the real situation of the company and people who is "working" there.
I told him everything, without any regret, because I don't talk about gossip, I talk about people attitudes that are making us lose customers and sales. I also told him what things demotivate me about my work and boss.
He told me he understand how I feel because he has the same point of view and this week there he could see many things (like fatass wasting time without do his work), and also told me that he will tries to do his best to clean this up but my boss has always the last decision on everything. This mean she wont fire the 2 last thiefs we have working with us because she is waiting they leave soon.

I asked to him if she has a plan, an idea or something, he said she has but for the medium term, and in that plan there is just me and maybe the administrative manager.  Can this be true ???? we will see.
So far I just know that I have overwork for the next months. I just hope that getting fucked one more time worths. Because im tired to get fucked up for free