The crisis

This is what happened this week at work. My boss and coworker were waiting for me to come back to the trip because boss can't decide what to do with a bidding. There is an important company, Techint, who is looking for someone to do a big work of torque. This is the 4th time they open a bidding and nobody are able to do an offer. We've analized this bidding every time and we concluded that we have not the people nor the tools to do the job, so we try Techint buys the tools and do the job with their workers. While I was at the trade show they got the bidding, and we already knew that we can't do the job so sales manager said we wont send an offer. This time Techint wants to do the job in just 3 days, working 24 hours in 3 different places, so we need at least 6 crews of 2 operators each one to do the job + 6 set of tools + backup tools. No way for us to do that. Sales manager who is on vacations at Italy changed his mind and called to the seller to tell him that we were going to do an offer for the job. He wanted to send every single male worker that the company has to do the job and he wanted to use our tools and complete the set with tools from our customers which are in our workshop.... this means the company won't do any of the usual works for a whole week, plus the risk that if one tool get broken we will have to pay it for new to our customer. 

My coworker who stayed at the office repleacing me told to my boss that anyways they needed to wait for me because noone, even sales manager, knows how to do an offer for a bidding.... my boss said then that she was going to wait for me to tell her what we should do about the job. She didn't trust her fucking sales manager "Mr Engineer in renewable energies" so let's wait for the only person who showed common sense in this damn company: me. When I read the bidding conditions, all the legal stuff that we should have to do the work, all the people and the tools that we need to do I told to my boss it's obviously that sales manager didn't read any shit before take a decision. I told her that we don't have a way to do the job so she said "ok then we won't do it". Plus I told to my boss that there is the guy from the company which does maintenance at height (the guy is also my customer because I do his website, brochures, etc) with who our company was talking to do together torque jobs at height, but now this guy told me that he deals with sales manager to do any kind of torque jobs. This means that this company with us are competing with our sellers in that area, and of course our sellers aren't happy at all because they will lose the commission of those jobs!!!  Sellers already had a tough conversation with the guy from the other company and everybody is unhappy. My boss said that she doesn't know what sales manager agreed with the other company but she believes we were going to do together JUST those works that we could not do alone. I WANT TO SLAP HER! And why the hell it's me who always say to her what the fuck is going on in her company because she has not fucking idea???? 

Ok maybe I'm overacting but this is how I feels the things. I spend Monday to Wednesday catching up with delayed tasks. I was very very tired but doing my best as usual. Oh, smelly guy decided he wants to work again in my office so he's installed in a desk in front of my desk, eating rice cakes and showing me that he tries to cut smoking. I think he didn't understand that he needs do it for himself and not to get my approval. Whatever.

Thursday at morning, the guy from the workshop came into my office to tell me that we didn't bring the cutter back from the trade show. I said to him "yes we bring it back". "NO, you didn't. I asked to Lucas and he said that you guys didn't bring the cutter back". I took a breath.. "yes, we bring it back. Did lucas check all the boxes that were in the van?" "I don't know but you didn't bring it back!!!" It was annoying to argue with someone who wants to tell me what I did or what I didn't in a place were he was not at, so to end the argument I reply "well then the cutter is lost". The guy left my office very upset, then I called to the seller who were at the trade show and asked him if he took the cutter in his bag, he said he didn't. I told to smelly guy maybe it's inside the tools box, so he went to check it, there was not the cutter. Then I said to him last time I saw the cutter it was inside a bag with other tool and his cellphone, in the van. He went to the van to check and found it. It took us 10 minutes to find the cutter. Meanwhile the guy from workshop went to my boss, comaplined about this and send an email to the whole company with copy to my boss saying that he has just few toold to work and if we took it away letting to him an old tool he can't do his work correctly, that nobody else can take any tool without  ask to him first and people will need to sign a form when he gives us a tool, and if we lose it whe have to pay the tool with our money... JESUS IT WAS A FUCKING CUTTER. 

I got upset about the email but I decided not to answer. Smelly guy who is enmity with this other guy wrote an answer and showed it to me, I said I was not going to reply, so I think he cancel his email. I saw him going to my boss office twice, then comming back and he told me "well... all is our fault" "what are you talking about?" I asked. He said : "you and me, we are guilty". Wait a fucking minute... did you went to talk with boss and she said that it's our fault about the cutter and the other guy is right??? YES said smelly guy. 

I lost my mind, I got in rage, I got pissed as fuck, I was ready to quit this stupid fucking job full of childish people. I open the email and I wrote an answer saying to this guy that I'm sorry he wasted time from his work writing an email when we found the cutter in less than 10 minutes. That all the things that we took to the trade show we did with our boss permission who was there with us looking all the things that we were packing. That I celebrate the decision of the company to start caring its patrimony and I have no problem to sign any form to formalize my responsability and commitment with the company but I doubt that I'll take anything else because my work environment is the sales office. And talking about taking care of patrimony I asked what we were going to do with the spare of the customer's tool that he lost in the workshop and which noone can explain where it's for what they decided to give to the customer a spare that is from the company's stock, a situation that become usual in our company. 

I was shaking because the rage while writing the email, I tried to calm down but I could not. I knew if I send the email I was going to start a war inside the company so I send it to my boss and her daughter adding that it was the email that I wanted to send but I didnt, and that I was leaving work and going from home because I know myself very well and I was about to quit job and I'm not someone who quit a job in this way. I told them that I can't continue working under all this stress and I understand if they cut the day from my salary. Then I got up and I left work without say even Good bye. 

I turned off my cellphone and I went to the school to pick Martu. I got new problems at the school but I wont talk about that now. This took me hours to calm down, and my body hurted because the stress. I was drained. Hours later I checked work email and there was a reply from boss saying that the problem was not with me and they are happy with my work, and I should not get involved in other people problems. It seems she has not idea that workshop guy was claiming the cutter to me, not to smelly guy. I was the one who took it. Next day, Friday, I decided not to work, I was not ready to go to the office so I stayed at home and I did nothing at all. 

Today wen I turned on my cellphone I got messages from boss who yesterday asked me if something happened to me (because I was not working). It seems she didn't understand when I told her that I was about to quit because the stress is fucking my mental health up. Also I got messages and lost calls from smelly guy. When I got the office he tried to talk to me, asked me if I was fine, I said yes I am, then I ignored him and the rest of my coworkers. When boss got the office I say Godd morning to her but it seems she didnt hear me and next time she saw me she said "GOOD MORNING,,, OR NOT????" I replied that I already said hello to her before, and it was all that she and me talked today. She didn't even ask if I was ok. I don't know if she just don't care or she's afraid to talk to me and I end quiting job. 

I'm not going back to work until Wednesday because national holiday. The break will be nice, I'm going to train my mind to give a shit about this bloody job and go there just to do the minimum work and get my money as my coworkers do. 

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